Noticing that I always update my blog on dates during my Intro To Film Quiz, I'm here again, not because I had the quiz today but it has really been some time since I have last updated.
Swinging in between wanting to be happy that I managed to pass the overall quiz results and the fact that I actually failed today's quiz really got me depressed as to why am I even thinking of such things. Results may matter, but its that really all? Felt that in this sem, results has kind of been much too high a priority for me that I loose touch of my main motivation. Wanting to give all glory to God. Giving my best? Not really. Pride. Just how much can "saving face" cost? Lots actually.
Being God's Child. Upholding His Name. Its hard, but I really want to do so. Doing do means surrending all of my life to Him. Even parts that I do not wish to, parts that I do not wish for others to know. At times, I do wonder why God still love me despite the fact that I have disappointed Him uncountless times, and tearing because of me. Come on, God tearing for You. How much just certain actions in my life disappoints Him. How much certain actions just draw us furthur. But yet, when I'm willing to turn back, You're always there with open arms, waiting for me, and better, running to me. A King.... Running... for me...
Want to thank God for still loving me despite of it all and placing people into my life that loves me. People like Alvin, Congs, Jia, Shuz, Daniel, Liangs, my caregroups, my team... Went out with Alvin last week after realizing how much we have not been meeting up cause of our busy schedules since the start of 2008. Managed to find some time to go out together last sun and wed... Lets just say, I really want to thank God for placing him in my life. Like how often God works in the most creative way in our lives, I really see how God works creatively in our lives and how much He has planned for us, from how we know one another, how we became close caregroup mates, how we became Spiritual Buddies.... Coincidence? Nah. Dun think so. Its too much of a coincidence for it to be a coincidence. Thanks Buddy!
*I know its hard, it has been long, but God, I really want to change. Let me Your power and Your spirit in me as I go through this. Help me change for You, help me shine Your light, help me reflect Your love. Let me be your city of light. Let me be Yours. Work through me... Work in me... Help me to love....
+ AMEN
Child of GOD
Aloysius Koh
a.k.a. aHboy
yHoppie Caregroup(ed):
eastDee2
minOps1 Shepherd(ed):
DiQiang
Jason
BingLiang
JianCong Sheep(ed):
Wilfred Offical yHope Support Crew!
